The results are in and I'm as fruity as a nut cake, ADHD, dyslexia and a genius to boot. The psychologist suggests that a lot of my problems may be learned behaviour. That is to say I was bored stupid in school and so I spent my time amusing myself in my own brain and let my subconscious obtain all the information I needed in order to get a pass mark.
The suggestion is that I could get away with this in school, it got somewhat harder at Uni and that the workforce was "a piece of piss" right up until someone wants me to pay attention to detail or manage a long-term project. The trouble is that as a manager I am now required to do both those things on a regular basis.
The trouble I'd had before in other positions usually involved me doing the job in a half arsed fashion and never writing up the reports or finalising the accounts. Usually people were forgiving because my half arsed attempts worked out well, in fact I've proven that me in "half arse" mode is often better that my colleagues at full tilt (did I mention the genius bit).
So whereto now for this nutjob? Well the psychologist reports to the psychiatrist who reports to my GP and then we decide if I can 'burn new neuropathways' using just the power of my own (genius level) brain or if we figure that as I have ADHD I'll never get off my arse and sort it out myself so I should be dosed to the eyeballs with Dexedrine, Adderall and Ritalin.
05 January, 2005
Well whatever the reason, I'm not going to be the new library manager. Don't worry, I'll cope, If I was looking for a library manager I wouldn't employ me. Not enough senior experience and too much of, well of something. But my time will come, after all I'm getting the experience now. By the time they readvertise the position and interview the next batch of people, I'll probably get a good few months in the job, call it three months as manager and before that six or so months as 2IC and I'm looking good for the future. I've been too lazy though and haven't enrolled myself into any management training, but if I get off my arse and get some I'm good to go.
Still it would have been good to have got the job, I might have gone down in flames, but I might just have pulled one out of the hat and given it a good go?